The Top 6 Manliest Drinks
The Most Manliest Drinks Men Love… Known to Man
Are you a man’s man? A guy’s guy? A no-BS fella whose car-repair knowledge runs deeper than the creases on Clint Eastwood’s face? Or do you prefer computer programming? Poetry? Baking? or Yu-Gi-Oh? – When it comes to manly drinks, there’s really a lot of options because there are a ton of different dude-types out there.
These days, Being A Man™ is more about being true to yourself and your word than being tough or emotionless when you see a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy trotting down the street.
So ordering a manly drink or a cocktail is more about ordering the right drink for YOU. And that depends on what type of man you really are. So let’s cut the crap and get down to brass tacks, alright men?
Here are a handful of manly drinks to order at the bar, or to whip up when you’re at home.
Introducing, The Manly Drinks
Actually, WAIT! Let’s stop shy of the brass tacks and pile up more crap into this blog post intro.
Nothing speaks to the doughy, social media informed, pop culture reliant, American Male™ more than a Marvel superhero movie. So we’re going to give each pairing of dude and drink a corresponding Avenger to represent that particular Class of Male™.
Alright, the crap is now cut. The brass tacks are polished. Prepare to enter the MCU, or Man Cave Universe™.
Now, The Manly Drinks… Seriously…
The Man: Suave
The Avenger: Tony Stark/Iron Man
The Drink: Gin Martini
Some say only jerks drink gin.
Well maybe they don’t say that. But I do drink gin and I have been called a jerk, so the logic holds. And Tony Stark has definitely been called a jerk (and, he is an alcoholic in the comic books.) But he’s a rich one. And he can be pretty cool and suave. He’s also a billionaire. And nothing speaks to rarefied tastes quite like quaffing a Gin Martini.
This cocktail is a classic and is under appreciated by today’s drinkers. It’s also a stiff drink, that despite the martini designation, will put hair on your chest and cue balls. Consider that a warning, because as they say, friends don’t let friends drink and fly in their armored suits.
Tips for ordering: Ask for a splash of dry vermouth and a few dashes of orange bitters. This will round the drink out.
The Man: Brawny
The Avenger: Thor
The Drink: Bourbon, two fingers, neat
Nothing says rugged simplicity like drinking whiskey straight.
Thor, the strongest of the Avengers, is pure, unvarnished power. There is nothing complex about pouring a glass of whiskey. And bourbon is a perfect whiskey to drink without ice or water because it is generally sweeter than Scotch or rye, but maintains the burn that comes with higher proof alcohol and a straight liquor. Drinking whiskey neat is a true man’s drink.
A glass of neat bourbon is the Thor’s Hammer of drink.
The Man: Intellectual
The Avenger: Dr. Stephen Strange/Dr. Strange
The Drink: Aviation
The Aviation is a magical cocktail. It’s purple hue, cast by a splash of Creme de Violette, creates a visually stunning cocktail. Much like Dr. Strange, with his mastery of magic and ability to fly, the Aviation is a thinker. Sweet and citrus, floral and piney, the gin-based cocktail is complex, offering a bunch of conflicting but ultimately balanced flavors. It’s a drink that deserves to be sipped, contemplated, and enjoyed.
An Aviation doesn’t belong at a cookout, or ordered in a dive bar. It’s the perfect cocktail to order prior to a nice meal at white tablecloth restaurant. If you’re the type of guy that appreciates the finer things in life.
Tips for ordering: Make sure the bar has Creme de Violette, it makes the drink.
The Man: Young and Angsty
The Avenger: Spiderman/Peter Parker
The Drink: Horse’s Neck
The Horse’s Neck is a classic drink that is ordered all the time, but rarely called a Horse’s Neck.
What is this manly drink? It’s simple. Can be thrown together quickly, and is perfect for the young man looking for a quick fix and easy sipping drink. It’s just a brown base spirit – rye, bourbon, or brandy – mixed with Ginger Ale.
Whiskey and ginger is close to the perfect drink. It’s doesn’t have the refinement of a manhattan, or the simplicity of a whiskey neat, but it’s a great drink nonetheless.
As Peter Parker tries to master his new powers as Spider Man and also navigate the trials of being a young man dealing with the pitfalls of life, the Horse’s Neck sounds like a drink he’d throw together when his grandparents weren’t watching.
Tips for ordering: Rye whiskey is best here, it cuts the sweetness of ginger ale.
The Man: Joker
The Avenger: Peter Quill/Starlord
The Drink: Boilermaker
The boilermaker is a classic dive bar drink combination – a shot and a beer. If you want the good times to start rolling quickly, then a boilermaker is like the express lane to getting drunk. It’s the perfect drink for people who want the fun to start immediately. It’s the Starlord of manly drinks.
The boilermaker originated in Montana, sold specifically to miner’s getting off a hard shift spent in the mines around Butte. But the drink has galactic appeal, with versions appearing nearly everywhere. In Philadelphia, it’s called a Citywide Special. In Texas, it’s the Two-Step. In Chicago, the local version features a shot of Malort and an Old Style beer, and is dubbed the Chicago Handshake.
Tips for ordering: No tips here, just make sure to leave a tip for your bartender.
The Man: Regal
The Avenger: T’Challa / Black Panther
The Drink: Cabernet Sauvignon
Cabernet Sauvignon is both powerful and nuanced.
A Cab Sauv, as wine drinkers short on time call it, is the king of red wines. And as king’s historically drink red wine, it is the king of kings. Which makes it perfect drink for the regal type – wise, strong, and restrained. It is the Black Panther of manly drinks.
Cabernet Sauvignon, aged in Oak barrels, develops well over time in the bottle, becoming more complex as it ages. It is the perfect wine to pair with steaks and smoked meats, making it the idea wine to order out at a steakhouse or to have at home for dinner from the grill.
Leave the bud lights to the boys at the next cookout, and pop open a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon instead. You’ll be respected.
Tips for ordering: If ordering a bottle, ask for advice from your server.